Laying here. Staring at these four walls. Wondering if there is a purpose to it all. The clock slowly ticks away the time. Tired and anxious. My normal mind. Looking through the slightly open blinds. The sounds of the world. Slowly going by. Tired of being here, as before. Want to go home. Find solace … Continue reading These four walls – by Suzanne Allen
It is May 15, 2018, and I have been talking to this online person for about 3 months now. He actually started following me in January but it took about a month before he actually messaged me then a few more weeks before I actually started responding. We have been talking to each other every … Continue reading Love is ageless – Answers to some questions.
Words can barely describe. What I feel inside. When I talk to you. It's been forever and a day. Since my last parley When I talk to you. It seems like idle chatter. Yet, it really does matter. When I talk to you. I've been in this silent desert. Time that can't be measured When … Continue reading When I talk to You – A poem
May 1st, 2018 It is May 1st. A new month and another new day to accomplish something. My sleep was not that great because I went to bed very late and I also had a rather bothersome dream. The dream was about the person I’ve been talking to online for a few months. He’s very … Continue reading What dreams tell us – Do we listen?
Nighttime Madness – by Suzanne E. Allen Thoughts of doubts fill my mind. Midnight anxiety, right on time. Self-destruction, breaking self. No amount of kind words can help. Please be patient with me, again. It’s never about you my friend. Need a moment to let the words fade. A long time ago they were made. … Continue reading Nighttime Madness – A poem
April 20th, 2018 Sitting in the car looking at how many miles until I hit empty. Just feeling grateful for the $20 of gas my son put in the car for me. At the same time also feeling pretty useless. It has been a hard adjustment this past year. I know that I shouldn’t feel … Continue reading 164 miles to E – Another 365 days around the sun.
It is Friday the 13th, April 2018. Yesterday, I spent a good portion of the day at a veteran’s job fair. I thought there would be more employers there but unfortunately, some did not show. I talked to few companies, told them what kind of positions I was looking for and then handed out resumes. … Continue reading Retrospect – Thoughts on how life moves.
April 10th, 2018 It is a Tuesday night after 10:30 pm and I should be thinking about heading off to sleep. Too many thoughts going through my mind and I don’t like it. I haven’t had these thoughts in a very long time it is making me feel lost and confused. I started talking with … Continue reading Lost and Confused – I’m too old for this.
It is April 9, 2018. I am still a single mom of four kids. This is not where I thought I would be at 47 (my birthday is in 12 days). I had hoped that by the time I reached 50, I would be settled down somewhere, paying off a mortgage, mid-career, planning for retirement … Continue reading Alone – Introspection on a life lived.
It is 11:50 pm on a Saturday night. I sit alone in the darkness, texting, chatting online and thinking about how to write this. This morning I went and saw the movie “Acrimony” by Tyler Perry starring Taraji P. Henson. The synopsis of the story states it was about a woman who gets revenge for … Continue reading Hold on or let go – Under the influence of a movie.