Moving forward …It is what it is.

November 17, 2019

It’s 9:15 on a Sunday morning. As I sit in our break room listening to the low drone of the vending machine waiting for my shift to start, I contemplate.

I think back to everything that transpired over the last 60 days.

**Continuation of writing.

Fast forward from my previous writing and it is now December 13, 2019 almost a month later.  Who would have known so much would have happened since then. 

I think back to that morning and remember how positive I felt that day.

I was working and doing a job that made me happy. I was exhausted from working a full time job all week but I didn’t mind because I knew the weekend was coming and I would be at my part time job. In a bakery doing what I love the most, cake decorating. I enjoy it tremendously and was so looking forward to working there.

I never foresaw that a mere 12 days later that I wouldn’t be working there anymore. All because a person decided that they didn’t want me there and thought that I was intruding in their territory so they cut me out of the bakery completely and in the same instance cut almost all my hours except for 6 hours a week.

It was no longer economically viable for me to work there so I resigned without notice the day I got my new schedule. Alas, there is no looking back on past grievances only moving and looking forward. It is what it is.

There was one positive that came out of it, the work I did there afforded me the resources and funds to finally find a place of my own. I moved into my new place on November 23rd and 24th. I had been technically “homeless” when I lived with my parents for about 2 1/2 months from the end of September to the end of November.

This evening I sit here in my living room after a full work day then coming home to move things around, I’m still unpacking, to stop and take a moment to write this update to my life. 

As weeks went by and I was still grumbling about what happened with the bakery job, this down mood and anxious state is probably what lead to my becoming ill.

I ended up in the hospital for a few days this past week. The doctors think it may be an ulcer which is a much better prognosis than the heart attack I thought I was having at 4 in the morning on Monday.

So once again, it is what it is. I’ll survive, ego battered and bruised but still intact. Now I’m forced to make the health changes that I kept putting off with many excuses over the last year or so.

As I continue moving forward in this new job and look for a new part time one I look at where I’m at now compared to where I was 3 years ago at this time.

I’m in a much better state of mind and my emotions are mostly under control. I still occasionally get weepy over things but it never lasts that long anymore. I dry my tears quickly, let the anger settle in instead, and charge forward.

It is the anger over the injustice in this world, having my ego challenged and how life isn’t fair sometimes.

The people who work the hardest, love the most, and leave themselves open to others tend to get left behind, stepped on, or used.

It isn’t right but once again it is what it is. All you can do is keep picking yourself up and keep moving forward.

Find a new path, friends, and purpose. No one is forcing you to stay in the situation you are in, we are all free to make a choice or sometimes make a stand for what we believe in.

Amazingly enough there are people who are doing that very thing every single day and there also people out there who are willing to stand with you.

My life isn’t perfect and I still struggle financially.  I just know that no matter what has happened before I always find my way again.  I always make things work.  

It’s the hope, faith, and belief that I carry every day that keeps me moving forward. 

Today is just another day.  Tomorrow is never guaranteed. 

When I wake up to another chance to make more changes, I know it’s going to be a good day.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Also thank you for sticking around to see where life is taking me next

Have an awesome week!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes to you, always.

Suzanne. 

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