August 11, 2019
I started this post August 11th. Today is August 28th and so much has transpired in a short 17 days. It’s hard to step back from the emotions and separate it into short, easy pieces to digest. I will try.
I originally made a statement at the end of a post titled “Growth” that I chose positivity, momentum, and growth. I was having issues with a person at my workplace. I thought we had everything settled then all of sudden she changed course and went totally in the opposite direction of what we discussed. Well today, it is all about the momentum. Once you get something moving, it has to keep moving.
So after much debate back and forth, I started applying for other jobs about a week ago. I felt like maybe things were starting to smooth out again at work when another incident occurred yesterday and this morning. I knew then that I needed to take the next step. I resigned from my position this morning.
I was slightly emotional when I sat across the desk from the HR director when she kept asking me if I was sure about this step. The only thing that I will miss is the job itself. Not so much the people. There are a few that made work life enjoyable but not on my own team. So yes, I was sure.
So I continued on putting together cover letters, a reference sheet, and my updated resume. Applied to some more positions and took an online assessment for one of the jobs. If this had been 3 years ago, my thoughts and emotions would be totally different. I couldn’t cope well then but now, it’s just another day. Things will work out however it needs to be.
The one thing that I have always believed in is doing the right thing. I look at this way, that if you stand up to the bullies and terrible people of the world then maybe one day you will make it better for someone else. We could all use a better world. I hope that is something that I have conveyed to my own kids.
So right now it is time to keep moving in the right direction. Make the right decisions. Do the right thing. Keep on growing as a person. Now that I’ve taken that first step into another unknown chapter in my life it will start gaining momentum. It always does.
I will be a tough road for a while, I have no savings of any sort, I have been living paycheck to paycheck for a very long time. It’s nothing new and I will manage like I always do. I will continue to keep my faith in God, the universe, the creator of all things. When I pray for guidance it always happens in the most unexpected ways. Like I said before, if this had been 3 years ago things would be different. I would probably be lying on the bed, sobbing, and crying out “Why me?”. This time I know I can bounce back.
I have a long history of always bouncing back. My life has never stayed in one place for very long. I don’t think it was ever meant to be that way. I came into being in an unorthodox way, to a single mom who had an affair. I’m sure she cared about him but he wasn’t honest with her. I paid the price for that. I was unwanted, unloved, and abused very early in my life. I continued that same pattern with most people who filtered in and out of my life. It wasn’t ideal but I learned more about the people I want to be around and who I want in my life. That was the trade off. So things will be better.
In the next coming days and weeks things will change again. I’ve been to the darkest places and hit that bottom already. I’m not afraid of it anymore. I know it can’t hurt me. I am in control of who I want to be, where I want to go, who will be with me, and how I am going to get there. Life has taught me that much. It has defined me as a person.
So just remember as you go through your daily life that things will always work out for the better. You just have to stay positive, motivated, and keep moving forward.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Have an awesome week!
Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes only!