Finding Serenity

The year is coming to a close.  So many changes occurred in 2018 for me.  Sometimes, I sit back and think about everything that I went through.  Happiness, sadness, joy, reminiscence, and some awe-inspiring moments, thoughts that make tears come to my eyes.

I look back at the last 4 years and still feel some of the pain that propelled me to where I am right now in this time and space.  That pain, prayers, positivity, and a penchant for change has brought me to this point.

Who knew an innocent conversation between two people would turn into something so meaningful and special.  I truly love him.  We fight, argue, and cause misunderstanding between us then we make up, apologize and try to not hold a grudge. We are both stubborn people. 🙂  I sleep every night and wake up every morning knowing he loves me.  I don’t know if this will work out but we are going to give a try.  If all goes well, in a mere 8 weeks or so he will be here.  Just the thought of that moment; the butterflies begin fluttering, thoughts jumble, and it’s hard to breathe.  I have never waited this long to be with anyone. Learning how to be patient, understanding, and vocal on what I want because he challenges me in ways no one else ever has before. 

This year saw a change in not only my personal relationships but in my professional life too.  I went through an arduous interview process over 2 ½ months and 3 different groups of people. I have never in my life been through such a process before. It was stressful but I remained calm, cool, collected, and confident in my own abilities. I know what my strength and weaknesses are, never been afraid to face them. This has helped me tremendously on my job, gaining praise and trust from my fellow co-workers. It has also garnered talks of increasing my responsibilities and possible promotion within the next year.  We have a lot to work on between now and then so those talks will be ongoing.  I even get to travel for work in the New Year coming up and have already been on one trip already this year.  Things are looking so much brighter.

Another change that occurred made me kind of sad but I knew it couldn’t continue for much longer.  The sugar art show and competition that I have attended for the last 5 years finally came to an end. I originally started it as a way to celebrate my retirement from the military.  I saw it as a way to challenge myself and a way to keep this knowledge expanding.  I met some really great people along the way.  I was fortunate to meet some pretty awesome professionals within this field of work and had the opportunity to take their classes.  This show helped me get through some very rough times over the last 5 years.  I was very lucky that it came along in my life when it did.  I will never forget it and will always cherish my two ribbons.

The past and upcoming year are definitely a change of status from a stay at home mom, to working mom, and then an empty nester.  The youngest child will be off to college at the end of next summer.  I have looked forward to this for a very long time and at the same moment, I have a sense of sadness.  I have lived the last 26 years of life in this mom mode and now that role is coming to an end.  I have raised them to be their own person.  I gave them everything I knew in the hopes they would be successful, happy, well-adjusted, and caring citizens that will change the world.  Now they are in control of their own destinies.

I may have not set out with a list of things to accomplish this year like I’ve done so many years before but things have been moving right along.  I just keep taking the day’s one at a time and managing through them.  I have been learning how to communicate my feelings better. I have been regaining my sense of purpose. I have been gaining back my own personal power to change my own destiny.  

The next year should be more interesting and full of even more to accomplish than the last.

Thank you for following me on this journey.

Thank you for your support, comments, and kind words of encouragement.

Let the New Year be filled with nothing but peace, love, and happiness for you.

Have an awesome week and happy holidays to you and yours.

Suzanne

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