May 1st, 2018
It is May 1st. A new month and another new day to accomplish something.
My sleep was not that great because I went to bed very late and I also had a rather bothersome dream.
The dream was about the person I’ve been talking to online for a few months. He’s very sweet, kind, ambitious, and also very young. We spoke this morning and talked about it, everything is still fine between us. Unlike previous online chats with people, we video chat, send voice messages, text and talk through several different social media platforms. So I’m not worried about it. Only time will tell where this is going.
As I was driving back this morning, after dropping my kids off at school, I realized that the dream was trying to make me see something else. It wasn’t necessarily about this relationship with this person. It was actually about myself.
During the drive, the same number kept appearing before me and in multiples, so out of habit I looked it up under “Angel Numbers”. I don’t know if numbers are a sign to us about something but it has happened so much the last 4 years that I pay attention. It said, “…pay attention to your intuition and inner-wisdom…you have nothing to fear in regards to your life, work, and Divine life purpose.”
It made the information seem clearer from the dream this morning.
At the beginning of the dream, everything was going wonderfully. I was happy and could see the beautiful things in life. Along the way, doubt started creeping in and convinced me that something wasn’t right in my life. It made me question things in my life, made me argue with others and stopped my progress. Then the things that I cared about started leaving my life; I lost everything. I desperately tried to pursue the things that made me happy once but it wasn’t the same as before. Then I had to face the fact that I wasn’t the same person anymore. I wasn’t the same person people once knew.
I spent the last 4 years trying to find that person from 27 years ago. Thinking that she was the answer to the issues I was facing. The toxic relationships and feelings of self-loathing. I began to realize that she had been there to help me move in the direction I needed to go. She protected me and kept me focused at points in my life when I needed her the most. I thought I lost her but in reality, she was always there just under the surface. I am still that same person. A little rough around the edges, battle weary, and well, tired. That happens and is expected with age. She got me to where I am right now at this moment.
I also recognize the fact that I am a difficult person for most people. I’m opinionated, harsh with my words, and I push people. I don’t do these things because I’m trying to control every situation as most have believed. I do this because I believe in people. I believe in their ability to raise themselves from where they currently are in their life. I am a living example of it.
As I have written about before, I grew up with a lot of things stacked against me and a lot of obstacles to overcome. The thing is, I never actually knew that. I just knew who I was, what I liked to do, what knowledge I had, and what I believed in. That’s it. There was no magic pill, secret formula, or spell. It was me believing in myself to accomplish whatever I set my mind to. I never saw the obstacles as permanent barriers to what I wanted. I just knew I would have to work harder than others. This helped me gain so much appreciation for what I have in my life.
This belief in myself is that girl from 27 years ago. It’s the same girl from birth. I have always been this person who could see the positives in everything that ever happens. It is the hope, faith, belief, and love that was instilled in me from my creation.
So as I go forward, still learning and growing as I person, things will be okay. They will work out however they need to go.
I throw this out to the Universe:
- I will no longer let the things that I cannot control determine or change who I am.
- I will stay with the basic truth of who I am.
- I will not let others interfere or deter me from my progress.
- I will let others stay on their life path and if we happen to intersect, they will accept me or not.
- I will still stay true to who I am.
- I will continue to learn every day.
- I know this all that I can do.
I will continue down this path before me carrying that same light of hope, faith, and belief to guide me on my journey and through the darkest moments.
Thank you so much for stopping by and supporting my blog.
Have a great day!
May peace, love, happiness, and good vibes find you!