January 31, 2018
It is a typical morning, rushing around trying to get the teenagers moving and hoping my coffee will be done before we head out the door.
Every morning, I wake up and check social media to see what’s happening in the world. This is usually when I will find a random message from someone wanting to chat. Sometimes I look at them but most of the time I wait until later in the day if I get bored and have nothing else to do. Harsh words, I know.
I know that maybe some of them are sincere in their attempts to chat me up but lately, it has been mostly scammers, still trying to win me over. The reason is still unclear. I don’t see why they are targeting me but that is a whole another issue I’ve written about numerous times before.
The one thing that I seem to get a lot from them is this sudden passionate plea for me to be with them. Professing their undying love and devotion. It has become humorous at times. They started calling me their “Queen” and this also something I see prevalent all over social media. Men or women wanting to be known as someone’s King or Queen. It makes me wanted to gag every time I see it.
All I can think about or the question that pops up in my mind is “Have we become so self-important that we think we deserve the title of King or Queen?” I understand it is meant to be a term of endearment maybe empowerment but it is becoming so overused that is now bordering on insincerity.
This, of course, is my own opinion. I guess if I was face to face with these individuals and then they called me their Queen, I would probably feel differently. As it stands right now, it’s just letters, on a screen with no feeling or emotion behind it. I get nothing from it except annoyance.
I was told during one of these chats I should be flattered but I still can’t get over what I think a Queen is and it’s not pretty, magical or very nice.
In my mind, a Queen is someone who is entitled, rules over another, and is held to a higher standard than others. A Queen can also have her crown removed if she is deemed unsuitable at some point and replaced with someone else. The words “…off with her head…” ring in my thoughts from Alice in Wonderland. There are expectations in place that go along with this title and she may have no choice but to follow it because of tradition.
I personally would never want to be this because I just want to be me. A flawed woman with her own identity, capable, determined, and perfectly able to hold her own against any other person. I want to be known for my character, compassion, and understanding. I never wanted to be able to fit neatly into a predetermined box based solely on my gender. Nor did want to live up to the expectations of others because I happened to be at one time, a wife. That role in my life ended a long time ago and now what I want is different from what I wanted then, I expect more. A lot more.
I don’t mean that I want more material things because those don’t last and they lose their luster after a while. What I want now is something not tangible it a sense of happiness, well-being, belonging, and peace. Something that I want to share with another but not necessarily will get it from them, I have to create it for myself.
To me the words “You are my Queen” almost seem demeaning and unflattering. Like I’m incapable of taking care of myself and need a King to do that for me. This is so not me. I have survived the life I have been given because I had to be capable and determined, no one was there to do this for me. I had to overcome obstacles and find that inner strength to continue each day, once again no one can do that for another.
I want to be viewed for the person I am, what I want to be, and where I want to go in this life. I need someone who is so confident in himself that he is not overwhelmed or feels overshadowed by that. That instead of leading me, he walks beside me, and picks me up if I fall, dusts me off then tells me to keep going.
I have had many failed relationships and friendships because this is who I am. I know and they knew that if they couldn’t keep up or be supportive then they needed to let me go and get out-of-the-way.
So as I keep moving forward, still chatting with these individuals, I have been letting them know not to call me “Queen”.
I still just want that old-fashioned courtship. Talking, getting to know each other very well, before moving onto anything else and not rushing into anything. If I take too long in this search for another and end up alone, that’s okay too. The world still needs the unmatched odd man out to keep things moving forward.
Thank you for stopping by.
Have an awesome day wherever you are in the world.
I hope peace, love, happiness, and good vibes find you today!